Dear Garden, please forgive me

I thought I would write you this letter to apologise for everything I have done to you. I have neglected you, I have cheated on you, I have put everyone else's needs before your own. I have even let your greatest enemies invade your own house.

To my garden, I am sorry, please forgive me.
I can't excuse my terrible behaviour, my reasons are weak. You stay out in the cold all of the time, yet I can't find the courage to venture out for a few minutes in order to take care of you.

Beetroots and Carrots I'm sorry, I have let you live in an overcrowded situation. I neglected to weed out the weaklings and let the strong thrive. Alas I have fixed that situation now and I hope you find your housing situation adequate .

Onions where the hell have you come from, I didn't invite you. Yes you were staying with us last year but I sent you packing and DID NOT INVITE YOU BACK. I think it is inappropriate for you to leave your children with us without asking for them to stay. Alas I have evicted the children, if you are looking for them they are now playing in the compost play pen.

I also have to apologise to you again Mr Carrot. I have cheated on you and not only the once. Due to your "Thinning out" issue not putting on the muscle I like, I had to go elsewhere. I have shopped around and I hate to admit it but I have paid for it more than once. On other occasions I picked up some for free. I am sorry and the fact that you are taking your time building muscle doesn't mean I should go elsewhere but what is a carrot lover supposed to do.

I am also sorry for spending more time on the "inside vegetables" I know I shouldn't but their crib is just so much more comfortable. I find myself hanging out there just for the fun of it, talking to tomato, pepper and lettuce. I will try and share my time my equally and not discriminate on location, as that is just inappropriate.
As to letting your enemies stay with you, I cannot apologise more to you. I could have prevented the invasion, but I just ignored them. Chinese cabbage I can see that the bugs are just eating you up. I will try my best to get the exterminator in to get rid of those. If I could figure out who was staying it would be even easier, although I do have a sneaky suspicion that it is nasty Mr Grass Grub.

As to the overgrown "weeds" they have no right to stay, I sent them an eviction notice this morning, please let me know if they pop back in. Grass is supposed to be living on the lawn, but he seems to have moved out of their due to lack of food and moved right into your little nutritious house.

So all in all I am sorry garden, I didn't mean to take you for granted. I know that without love and care from me you find it hard to survive. If I want to get anything out of our relationship I know I have to put something in. I will try my best to change and take better care of you.

With Love

Your Absent Gardener

Grow your own

I knew I was getting old when I started to watch the news, preferred staying in rather than going out and started growing my own vegetable garden.

I grew up on the farm so I am used to seeing giant vegetable patches that produce all of your vegetable needs. When I moved to the city and lived in rented properties I had all but given up on the idea of producing my own vegetables. Cue TV cooking shows that had chefs growing their own kitchen gardens. For example, James Martin Digs Deep and River cottage, which I quickly become addicted too.

Hubby and I were inspired, surely we could grow something in our tiny wee 2 metre square garden. By this time we were living in our own home, so we could dig up what and where we wanted, to create our little slice of vegetable paradise.

We started small and brought in some actual soil and sheep poo thanks to dad (our section was all rocks and clay). Hubby was in control of most of it as I was known to be a bit of a black finger (aka every plant I touched, died). That was until at 7 months pregnant Hubby decided to go and play Grid Iron Football and totally destroy his patella (the thing that holds your knee together). What followed was a few weeks spent in hospital and months of not being able to move from the chair. He gave me strict instructions while in hospital, "I must take care of the garden and NOT let anything die". Crap I thought, how the hell am I going to do that.

Alas the stress of killing his garden made me spend many hours out there taking care of it. Which made me realise something important. In order to be a green finger you actually had to put some time and effort into your garden.

So without realising it Hubby had created a big fat pregga lady who was now obsessed with gardening. Some people get cats or dogs when pregnant. So that they can nurture them and take care of them, its just what pregnant people do. Well my baby was my garden and boy did I go nuts nurturing it. Hubby would quite often look out the lounge window to see a 9 month pregga person pulling out the few remaining shrubs and digging up the garden to create more space for my precious vegetables. He would quite often bang on the window with his crutch yelling at me to get in side and stop doing crazy things, that it was dark outside now. I would religiously water it and fertilise it every week. Yell and squash bugs if they dared to attack my precious wee pants.

All this pregnant green finger craziness created a brilliant productive little vegetable patch that not only provided our vegetable needs but our neighbours as well. Now alas we have moved to a bigger house and have had to start all over again. I will post our successes and failures of dealing with a slightly different environment, our new gardens and crazy looking bugs when I get the chance. In the mean time happy gardening.

PS: All the pictures are actually of my little garden.

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